Podcast

Psychotherapist David Feder fields some member questions. He provides his perspectives on the following questions:

• How can I stay married to a man who has said he loves someone else?
• What do you do if your spouse keeps hanging on to the other woman?
• How do you differentiate between affair fog love and real love for the affair partner?
• As spouses how do we help them see their affair is a fantasy and not real?
• And more...

Doug and Psychotherapist and infidelity expert, David Feder wrap up our discussion on the 9-steps to forgiveness.

Doug and Psychotherapist David Feder delve into Dr. Fred Luskin's 9-steps to forgiveness.

This is part one of a series on forgiveness where we talk about three of the nine steps.

Doug and Psychotherapist David Feder explore the foundational elements of forgiveness:

• What it is. What it isn't.
• What are the benefits?
• Being open to forgiveness.
• The notion that it lets the betrayer "off the hook."
• And more...

This session sets the stage for a follow up session where we will get into the 9-step process of forgiveness.

Doug and David respond to a few member questions:

• Why does a person need to feel wanted so badly that he/she would compromise their marriage and ruin his/her family?
• Can you give me an idea as to what my husband’s thought process that allowed him to go from a loving husband to a cold and bitter stranger seemingly overnight?
• An unfaithful person asks what he can do to "build his wife back up" again.
• Do you have any experience with a spouse in denial about an affair when you go to marriage counseling?
• Will a therapist actually TELL the cheating spouse that they are, in fact, cheating?

Psychotherapist David Feder responds to a couple of member questions. Here are some of the issues that were addressed:

• Dealing with triggers
• The betrayed spouse reconciling that her husband was capable of hurting her by having an affair
• Compartmentalization on the part of the unfaithful person
• Should one agree to a trial separation with certain parameters?
• Maintaining strong healthy boundaries. No contact with the affair partner, for instance.
• More...

In this session, Psychotherapist David Feder and Doug discuss the important elements of setting and enforcing boundaries, as they address several member questions on the subject.

Psychotherapist, David Feder continues his discussion on why some hurt partners continue to suffer, sometimes for years from a spouse’s affair, while other people are able to move on.

In this session he reviews things that someone who is a victim can do to become a survivor and take control of their life.

Psychotherapist, David Feder discusses why some hurt partners continue to suffer, sometimes for years from a spouse’s affair, while other people are able to move on.

He has identified two Groups: Survivors and Affected Long-Term (ALT).

In Part 1 of this two-part session, David delves into:

• the different characteristics of people in each group;
• potential outcomes of people in each group;
• the goal of every Hurt Partner is to survive and thrive and not just to either survive their spouse’s affair or return to the “old” relationship;
• recognition that surviving an affair is hard; it is trauma... but it doesn’t have to and shouldn’t become a life sentence

In this session Doug and Psychotherapist David Feder discuss Sex Addiction and address the following:

• Definition of sex addiction.
• The Addictive Cycle
• What are some of the signs a person is a sex addict?
• Is this predominantly a male issue - or do many females suffer as well?
• Are there typically underlying traumas or other issues that are at the root of these addictions?
• As a spouse of a sex addict, what sort of boundaries should be established and enforced? How can they help break the cycle of addiction?
• How does a hurt person support their recovering addicted spouse yet at the same time protect their heart and protect themselves emotionally?
• What about treatment... Group, individual, etc.?
• Is their hope for a person married to a sex/porn addict?
• Resources for the addict and partner of the addict