Blog
ARTICLES:1 - 10
If You Are Cheating on Your Partner, You Are Cheating on Yourself!
If you are cheating then you are a master at validating unacceptable behaviour. You have learned tricks and use them to justify poor choices. In addition you keep secrets about your other life, secrets about choices that are hurtful to the people who are closest to...
The Missing Link to Recovering from an Affair
After discovering an affair, chances are that you are in immense pain. For financial or emotional reasons or both, you cannot afford to be in therapy for years figuring out your relationship issues. You need a quicker process that makes a meaningful recovery possible....
A Lesson Learned from a Spouse’s Affair
Recently I met with a man whose wife had an affair that ended several years ago. It was an honour to work with this couple and they made good progress in therapy. In fact, they can teach us an important lesson. In spite of the progress made, every now and then...
Your Heart Can’t Be in Two Places at the Same Time
In my practice I meet with at least one partner each day who is having an affair and struggling with the decision of whether or not to work on their marriage. I typically ask them to describe their confusion and they almost always embark on a similar dialogue in which...
Live Your Life to the Fullest! Why Not?
If you asked anyone whether they’d like to live their life to the fullest, I expect their answer would be an enthusiastic “yes” (mine certainly would be). But sometimes it feels that a lot of people aren’t trying very hard to make it a reality. I was recently exploring...
Esther Perel & The State of Affairs
I recently had the opportunity to attend a one-day conference in Toronto in which the incomparable Esther Perel presented. The topic was “THE STATE OF AFFAIRS: A NEW CLINICAL APPROACH TO INFIDELITY”. The day was provoking and filled with extraordinary insights about...
Is an Affair an Illusion or a Solution?
Only 3% of affairs become committed relationships and, of those, 75% fail. This means there is only a 0.75% chance that an affair will become a long-term relationship. Are those odds you would gamble with? An affair is often perceived by the participating partner as a...
The Problem with Social Media and Connection
With the emphasis that people are putting on social media we are losing the ability to communicate effectively. Staples of every day communication such as intimacy and empathy previously valued are eroding. People who lacked interactive skills were thought to be rare...
Tips for Celebrating During the Holiday Season
Another holiday season is here. Many of us will be celebrating either Christmas or Hanukkah. One holiday representing hope, while the other teaches us that miracles are possible. Many of us look forward to this time of year but after an affair, anticipating time...
Is Someone You Know Having an Affair? Read This Now!
If you, or someone you know is currently in the throes of an affair, READ THIS! What do people think? Do they really believe they can play a cat and mouse game and forever deceive their spouse? How does a person in the grip of an affair convince themselves that...