You Are Responsible for Your Happiness

I have read from other peoples’ works things like “don’t depend on others for your happiness”, and “our complaints about other people are a reflection of disappointments about ourself.”  I also learned how, “the level of joy, happiness and love a person experiences is directly related to the strength of the connection between their mind and their body.”  I refer to these as life’s lessons but what do they mean and how can a person incorporate these lessons into their life?

I am convinced that while we marvel at what we are reading we learn and internalize what we read only when we are ready to do so.  The Buddhist quote, “when the student is ready, the teacher will appear”, is particularly relevant here.

This morning while walking my amazing dog Carly the teacher did appear.  Moments before our walk the lessons referred to above were obscure to me and mere expressions that took up space in my memory, but now they were lessons that I could use to guide my life toward greater happiness.  What I was able to realize and feel was that I am responsibile for being happy, or sad and only I could make that choice.  But having realized this important life lesson I knew that I had to immediately translate it into action by developing a game plan.  This would ensure that I would not slip back into a way of living where I relied on others for my happiness and joy.  So what did I do….well, it was actually quite amazing!  First I started thinking about “conscious living”, a term that I never thought about before and I asked myself, what does it mean?

I thought, conscious living, or to live consciouslyis to consider the full spectrum of what life can offer and to choose how one wants to live spiritually, physically and emotionally.  It means recognizing and accepting one’s own mortality and that none of us lives forever and consciously making the choice to live with purpose and thereby make the most out of each day.  An age-old Indian proverb tells us, “every time you wake up and ask yourself, “what good things am I going to do today?” remember that when the sun goes down at sunset, it takes a part of your life with it.”  

I am convinced that “conscious living” requires a disciplined approach to living instead of living without direction and purpose.  If you are unhappy today, you are probably doing the latter.  Take a moment and ask yourself what your intention is in your life?  Are you achieving it?  If you aren’t, realize that it is your responsibility to ask yourself what you need in order to achieve your intention?  If you find yourself saying, “hey, I can’t do that because….” you lack something or some skill to make it happen then it is your responsibility to go out and learn that skill so you can make it happen because then you will realize happiness.  There is no excuse and no one to blame!

So my message here is if you are depending on others for something that will make you feel better, STOP!  Your happiness, your joy, as well as your satisfaction with your life is up to you.  It’s your responsibility and no one else’s.  You can make your dreams come true beginning the moment you believe in yourself.