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A Lesson Learned from a Spouse’s Affair

A Lesson Learned from a Spouse’s Affair

Recently I met with a man whose wife had an affair that ended several years ago. It was an honour to work with this couple and they made good progress in therapy. In fact, they can teach us an important lesson. In spite of the progress made, every now and then...
Your Heart Can’t Be in Two Places at the Same Time

Your Heart Can’t Be in Two Places at the Same Time

In my practice I meet with at least one partner each day who is having an affair and struggling with the decision of whether or not to work on their marriage. I typically ask them to describe their confusion and they almost always embark on a similar dialogue in which...
Live Your Life to the Fullest! Why Not?

Live Your Life to the Fullest! Why Not?

If you asked anyone whether they’d like to live their life to the fullest, I expect their answer would be an ethusiastic “yes” (mine certainly would be). But sometimes it feels that a lot of people aren’t trying very hard to make it a reality. I was recently exploring...
Esther Perel & The State of Affairs

Esther Perel & The State of Affairs

I recently had the opportunity to attend a one-day conference in Toronto in which the incomparable Esther Perel presented. The topic was “THE STATE OF AFFAIRS: A NEW CLINICAL APPROACH TO INFIDELITY”. The day was provoking and filled with extraordinary insights about...
Is an Affair an Illusion or a Solution?

Is an Affair an Illusion or a Solution?

Only 3% of affairs become committed relationships and, of those, 75% fail. This means there is only a 0.75% chance that an affair will become a long-term relationship. Are those odds you would gamble with? An affair is often perceived by the participating partner as a...

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