Read All About it! The Most Important Boxing Day Ad Ever!
While sitting at the breakfast table this morning, my wife looking at the Boxing Day ads on our IPAD and me the newspaper, a thought came to me that was so compelling that I needed to share it with all you. There we were searching for bargains and I found myself wondering about how our day was going to be spent. I dreaded the long line-ups at check-out, crowded malls, people shoving and spending the day with people I didn’t know. Help!
We live in a time when professionals speak of mindfulness, a Buddhist practice that encourages one to focus one’s energies on the present and to appreciate the here and now. They remind us about the practice of gratitude for the things we have, but how many of us actually follow their guidance? Mindfulness and gratitude are two terms that are talked about but seldom practiced because most of us are socialized to believe that we never have enough, or what we have is not good enough. We are driven by the need to keep up and if we don’t, there is something wrong with that.
Then I thought, of all the items seen in the newspaper ads do I really need anything or do I already have everything I need? If I didn’t get the newest IPAD or IPhone, or newest computer, or another pair of pants or a coat would I be any worse off? Of course the answer to this and every question is no. I would be just fine and in fact I would be more than fine because I have everything I need and have had everything I needed for the past 27 years. The greatest gift I ever received and still have is my wife. Now you may be thinking I’m being a bit corny but read on and you will understand why.
What I did was do what I encourage my clients to do, that is, to live in the moment. I dedicated the past 24 hours to living mindfully and to feel grateful for all the things my wife does for me and for who she is as a person. What I found was so refreshing but more important is what I found out about myself and that is where the most important lesson is found.
What I learned about myself is that I have been taking for granted so much of what she does. I thought, when was the last time I thanked her for doing all the things she does every day. Taking care of our family by preparing thoughtful and nutritious meals, ensuring we have everything we need, making sure I am organized and generally keeping me on track which I assure you is no easy task. Each of these is completed by her without complaint and completing each task with a heart that is filled with love and devotion.
I realized that even though I thought I appreciated my wife I noticed that partly my appreciation for her was dormant and way too passive. What I realized is that I failed to celebrate my wife for all of the things she does unconditionally and because of her commitment. She is my lover, my friend, my confidante, my nurse, my support, my consultant, my housekeeper, my banker, my associate, and…and…and… the list never ends, that is, as long as I discipline myself to notice.
So you see, what this exercise reminded me of is that what I need I already have and have had for the past 27 years. For all of us, Boxing Day specials may fill a need you think you have, but don’t you already have everything you need right now?
If you’re not sure, take the 24 hour challenge that I gave myself by noticing for the next 24 hours all the things that special person in your life does for you. Try it regardless of whether you are currently in a relationship or not. You can try it with your children, a parent, a relative or a close friend. You can consider anyone who is important to you and you feel close to. Just notice all the roles that person plays in your life and see how you feel towards them. Something magic is about to happen!