It is Time to Say, Enough and No More!
Bill Cosby, Jian Ghomeshi and Elliot Spitzer, …three high profile, successful public figures who, if they weren’t known to you before, are known widely now. The list continues to grow and one can only wonder, who will be next? When people are shamed, we pay attention wanting to know each and every detail. When people are shamed for doing things that are outrageous, our curiosity peaks and many of us are quick to cast judgment.
It is so sad when a person acts in a manner that destroys their life either in a legal courtroom or in the court of public opinion. Clearly we are ultimately responsible for the choices we make and for the actions we take. Still, it is sad for the person directly involved and it is a sad commentary about the society in which we live. An important question that ought to be considered by each of us is whether these people are born and hence destined to act in hurtful ways, or are they created as a result of their life experiences, or both. The nature vs nurture argument?
Thankfully we are fortunate to live in a free society, but it is also a permissive society. Our society promotes sex and allows women to be violated daily. To think otherwise is to ignore the obvious. On one extreme we allow adult entertainment bars to exist, establishment were strippers are employed who openly provide a full menu of sexual favours for patrons who’s only requirement is to show up and shell out. At the other end of the spectrum we produce movies and television programmes that are promoted in spite of them having steamy sex scenes in them. A current example is the program on cable television called “The Affair”. These are sometimes referred to as soft porn in the industry. I dare say that the internet is overflowing with thousands of pages of pornography that our children have access to and this is how many of our children as young as twelve are being introduced to what intimacy is and relationships are all about. Are you starting to get the picture? Sex is all around us, free to be discovered and easily to be misunderstood.
I am reminded of an old expression. There is a reaction for every action. It is unconscionable to me that as a society we think that we can widely promote sex and believe that there will be no fall-out somewhere and in some form. The recent news that fills our tabloids is sufficient evidence that that belief is simply not true.
We are all at the very least partially responsible for what is happening and to think otherwise is a huge contributing factor. It is time for all of us to take a look at the lessons we want to teach our youth about compassion, empathy and how another human being deserves to be treated. Today, there is a decrease in empathy while entitlement is on the rise and we are all a part of enabling that current trajectory. By the hour we are exposed to slogans that encourage us to go get it; have an affair; and not wait? Each are examples of narcissistic, self-centered thinking thinking that many of us live by, believe and pass on to our youth often without realizing that we are even doing it. We are already seeing the damage this way of living and thinking causes and the pain will only grow exponentially each year and with every generation.
It comes down to this. It is all about the “me” dis-ease and immediate gratification and reward. It is less and less about consideration for the other person. We live for today and lose sight of the fact that it is destroying our future.
It is time to stop long enough to accept that Bill Cosby, Jian Ghomeshi and Elliott Spitzer all represent a part of each of us. They are all a product of the society that we allow, create and perpetuate. As a result we have had a part in creating an atmosphere in which we tolerate disrespect and a lack of compassion for how we treat other people and innocent victims are created daily as a result of heinous crimes on one hand and acts of betrayal on the other.
It is time that each of us wake up and realize that we are all a part of the problem because we allow it to happen. It is time to become part of the solution by saying with conviction, “enough and no more”.